Men in general are known for being many things. Among them are driven, strong, aloof, outspoken, bad listeners, unfeeling, intelligent, unintelligent, focused, lost, and the list goes on and on. But there are two typical charateristics of men that I want to focus on today. Many of us are “big picture” guys and many of us are fathers.

Men like to think big. If we are going camping in the backyard, we probably need all the camping equipment we can muster and even a weapon because you never know what kind of wild beast you may encounter 90 feet from the backdoor. When we go to a football game we need to make sure we have our home team t-shirt, sweatshirt, hat, blanket, drink holder, grill cover, flag and bandana, not to mention our team color fold-out lawn chairs. And they say women pack a lot! But the point is we plan. And we plan in church too. Now don’t get me wrong, planning is a great thing. It keeps us all from wandering around aimlessly. Planning keeps our kitchen cabinets and refrigerators stocked with food. It makes sure the gas tanks are filled. But sometimes…sometimes…it keeps us from “seeing the forest from the trees”.

Yesterday I had a couple of opportunities to see that my plans were not as important as what God gives me in the moment. I was busy working on a project for my job and trying to figure out how my small business is going to make it in this economy and I kept talking to God and saying, “Please, please, please show me what I am supposed to be doing. What is the big picture for my life here?” And then God rang the doorbell. A close friend had stopped by to share some burdens with me and we talked and I am not sure if I made this person feel better, but it definitely clued me in that God has the Big Picture under control and I need to be looking around for those types of moments because they hit us every single day.

So in that same line of thinking I had another oppportunity last night. I was given a moment with my oldest daughter who was struggling because she had spent the first part of the week with her grandparents and all of their candy and craziness and so Harper wanted to stay there forever. So we had a nice long talk and I think her 4 year old mind and heart were able to grasp most of what I said. But my 35 year old mind and heart grasped all of it.

As fathers, husbands, leaders, teachers, mentors, supervisors, workers, pastors, we plan. And we like to plan big. But there is nothing bigger or more important than the heart. Make sure you look around from time to time and see if there is not an opportunity to heal one.

On the Journey with You,
Scott

Some people say that “opposites attract.”  That’s at least true for the huge contrast between the way men and women think and communicate.  What spouse hasn’t said, “Are you even listening to me???”  What spouse hasn’t thought “How did you get that from what I actually said???”  What spouse hasn’t wondered, “How is it that you put the dirty socks on top of the hamper, but NOT IN THE HAMPER???”  Okay maybe that one is just for some of you.

I mentioned Sunday a theory called “Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.” The difference comes in the way that men think and communicate like their life is made up of compartments like the box-like compartments that make up a waffle, whereas women think and communicate in a world full of connectedness, such as a plate of spaghetti where one noodle may touch every other noodle, and the plate, and the meatballs. Click the titles below to read more about this in a three article blog post:

• I Am A Waffle

• My Wife Is A Plate Of Spaghetti

• How To Enjoy A Plate Of Waffles And Spaghetti

Don’t forget Sunday is Father’s Day.  I say don’t forget, not because the women need a reminder, but because most of us men, if we’re not in our “Scheduling Box,” are oblivious to what day Sunday is.  We’re going to have a great worship element that will inspire you to hug a dad, or become a better one!  You won’t want miss it!

Also, have you made plans for the “Family Day Camp” that will be June 28?  Click on the following link to get all the info about this free fun awesome Sunday event at our 10 for 10 celebration web page.

I’ve never thought about the patriarch Jacob as being a “Romantic Superman.” But this Sunday we highlighted two super qualities he demonstrated with his marriage with Rachel that exemplify how to maintain a wonderful marriage relationship that will last a lifetime:

Sacrifice and Service

The real nuts and bolts of making marriage work long after the infatuation has faded and as the real-world responsibilities and pressures escalate is giving of yourself for your mate (sacrifice), as well as meeting the needs of your mate (service).

Here is the list of “Needs” that you every couple experiences.  Which ones need some sacrifice and service this week?

• Admiration or Respect
• Attractive Spouse  (attractive to the person…)
• Affection
• Companionship
• Conversation
• Domestic Support
• Financial Support
• Family Commitment
• Honesty or Openness
• Sexual Fulfillment

Your homework is to pick the needs that you think your spouse is lacking and sacrifice and serve to meet that need.  Also you should be talking these through so you’re sure to get it right.  Plus, you must share openly about what needs you’re missing in your relationship.

The difference this can make is amazing.  I know it’s often hard, and having a talk about this stuff can be unpredictable.  But KEEP TRYING!  You never know how God will use your efforts!

Next blog post, I’ll share some about how to communicate better when we as male and female think so differently.

Yesterday around lunchtime Tiffany left for the beach for the weekend with some college girlfriends. So of course Harper, Delia and I ate junk food and watched movies and stayed up late. After I got the kids to bed I decided to watch “The Wrestler” which I had rented and that I knew Tiffany would never watch so I had planned it for this occasion. You have probably heard of it because there was some Oscar talk for the lead role, a battered, washed-up professional wrestler played by Mickey Rourke.

Anyway the movie was OK. There were some cool 1980’s wrestling scenes which is great for someone who grew up with Ric Flair and Junkyard Dog. And there were some touching moments as a guy who once had everything is beaten down by a world that can no longer use him. In one of these scenes he is trying to reconnect with his 20-something daughter who he walked out on years ago. He says to her, “I’m nothing but a piece of meat. And I’m all alone.” Regardless of how I felt about the movie at that point, I was moved by this. I had been watching for about 45 minutes when this scene took place and it just washed all over me. What an awful feeling!

The reason always being alone hurts so much is because it is not how we were meant to spend life. We were designed for each other. We were created for fellowship. We were born to touch each others’ lives.

Tomorrow we will kick off the very first Home Teams at the Lancaster County campus of Team Church. What a great thing to be a part of!! So please come ready to hang out with some great people. We need to fill our spiritual need to be with others.

On the Journey with you,
Scott