Most of us make lists of some kind. Grocery lists, gift lists, play lists, etc. We like to look at lists: Top 25 coolege football teams, Top 25 pop songs, things to do when it’s raining, and (no pun intended) the list goes on and on…

We also make “to do” lists. These consist of our daily tasks: file the report, do the laundry, pick up milk, feed the dogs, and so on. These lists help us organize our days, prioritize our time, and prevent us from forgetting important stuff. And it is quite a heady feeling when the last item is crossed off the list. We really feel a sense of accomplishment especially if it was a longer list.

What if we made people lists? I am not trying to trivialize folks to a check mark on a list, but hear me out. What if every day we set some goals of specific persons to reach out to? What if we decided to get in touch by phone, letter, email or personal visit to those folks who have been popping into our heads and hearts at semmingly random times?

We only get one chance at this life to go out and be the church. What if each day we did it by communicating to those we know to be in need? Building relationships in this way (by getting on the ground and making the connection) is what love is all about. I think Jesus gave us some pretty good examples of getting out there and seeing how everyone was doing.

So pick up the phone, gas up the car, or lick that postage stamp and get involved in life. I think you will see love growing all around if you do.

On the Journey with You,
Scott

We can take a lesson from how Jim is willing to reach out! Way to speak that love language, Jim.

What do people look for when they visit our church?  As I discussed earlier, different people are looking for different things.  Just as people have different love languages (the way they express and receive emotional love), each attender will feel loved and welcomed only if they receive it in a way they understand and expect it.

Here is the first half of my top ten list to connect with newcomers at church (and hopefully communicate love, warmth, and acceptance) so that we can reach people where they are and lead them to full devotion to Jesus.  And by the way, this list is especially for the leaders at Team Church, but can include anyone who wants to connect with others.  More to come on this…

1.  Smile and Say, “Hi”
Do this to everyone!  Make it a sort of game to not miss anyone. If anyone thinks you’re weird…tell them it’s your job, and you’re learning to say “Hello.”  …and see number two!

2. Be honest about what you’re doing.
Does it seem like you’re a salesperson going around speaking to everyone??  Let’s be honest…you’re a church member, and they are a visitor.  It’s your responsibility to let them know they are welcomed.  If you don’t , they will not go away thinking, “This is the coolest laid-back church because no one even noticed us.”  So, walk up, say “Hi,” and try not to get so self-conscious… Be honest, you are approaching them to get their name, tell them you’re happy they are here, and you would love to see them again.

3. Listen and ask questions
You’ve got two ears and one mouth, so listen above all else.  People feel loved when they are listened to, and it is a rare thing.  But sometimes you need to probe a little, so engage with some questions.  If questions don’t come easily, then think through the acronym FIRE…ask questions about…

• F–family (Are you here with your family?  What are your kids’ names?)
• I–interests (What do you do for fun?  Did you know there is a Christmas parade?)
• R-religion (What brought you to church today? Don’t you think that message was AWESOME?!
• E–employment.  (Where do you work?)

4. Give Compliments
Everyone loves an ego boost.  Noticing something you like about them is a great way to start a connection.  For instance, if you genuinely notice something, say something like, “Nice shoes.”

5. Repeat their names
This makes it personal and also is a memory aid.  Make it a sort of game to call their name three times when you learn it.  for example, “I’m Steve, and you are?”  “Henry, it’s nice to meet you.”  …”So what brought you here today, Henry?” …”Jim, let me introduce you to Henry, he’s new in town…”

We spent Sunday talking about how to communicate love to those you love.  Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages is always an interesting topic whether it’s a refresher course for you or you’re hearing about it for the first time.  I’d love to hear back from you how it has changed the way you communicate love to your spouse!

As the pastor of a brand new ministry it’s important to me to communicate not only love, but also warmth, and acceptance to those I see on Sundays, especially to those who are first time guests.  It’s most likely true what people say about “first impressions,” and the question is, “What are you communicating to others?”

Just as spouses often miscommunicate their true feelings to one another, I believe those already “in” the church can miscommunicate to those “outside” the church.  If you think about the love language solution for spouses, you may see that there is some similarity when it comes to church.

In a marriage the Five Love Languages would tell you to express love in the way that your spouse understands…even when it’s not your preferred way to express and receive love.  The same could be said for churchgoers…the key to communicating love the best is to view it from their perspective more than our own.

So think about it…if you were brand new to the Team Church ministry, what would communicate love, warmth, and acceptance above all else?

Would it be that someone affirmed you with thanks, and encouraged you to return?  For some, that is everything, and for others, those are just words.
Would it be that someone spent some engaging quality time with you over a donut hole?  For some it’s too close, too soon, but for others, you’ve become the friendliest church in town.
Perhaps you’re looking for the personal touch, and handshakes or hugs may communicate it best.  Or perhaps what would make you feel most invited is noticing the sacrifices made so that church can happen.  If you’re a newcomer, maybe the biggest thing that communicated was that someone offered you a cup of coffee.

Boy, it’s tough to communicate to everyone when everyone receives love so differently!  Yep, it is. But communicating love is the greatest thing you can do.  Just remember to consider expressing your love, warmth, and acceptance with their perspective in mind. I’ll share with you my list of ways to communicate with others on Sunday morning tomorrow.

Last night I went to bed with the following plan: wake up at 6, take a walk in the early daylight hours and try to spend some time with God, eat some oatmeal and drink some coffee while I did a little reading, send out a couple of work-related emails, and use the last 15 minutes before my kids wake up to mentally prepare myself for the day.

Well…I got the coffee and the oatmeal and that is pretty much it. When I went to bed I did not count on Hadley crying at several inopportune times during the night. So right off the bat I did not get up when I wanted which threw everything off. The first thing that had to go was the walk because there was not enough time. I am typing this at 9:15 which means the work will get done at work and the reading will get done maybe never.

However, God’s plans were better now that I can reflect on the morning. Harper and Delia woke up at the same time today (which almost never happens). I got to go get them both out of bed and they helped me cook breakfast (of course Delia threw hers on the floor which kind of chessed me, but what are you gonna do?). They both demanded that I sit by them while they ate so I worked it out where I could sit by both of them at the same time (I am like Einstein, I know). Then I got to talk to both my Mom and my Dad on the phone this morning and we had some really good conversations. Which brings me to right now when I get to write to the world about what God has put on my heart.

I am not sure what God will bring me the rest of today or tomorrow or 20 years from now. Who knows? I may not make it that long. But I do know this: it may not seem like it at the time, but God’s plan is so much better than mine. I know worse things could happen than a bowl of oatmeal all over the kitchen, but no matter how bad it is I want to have God with me as I deal with it. There is so much more to say on this topic than I can say in my whimsical little space here, but know this: God has a plan. It has been in place for a long, long time. And you have a part in it. Put that in your brain pipe and smoke on it for a little while. God has a plan and you get to help Him with it if you are willing to see how your plans may not be the best.

On the Journey with You,
Scott