“Summer Love” came to a close this past Sunday with the message entitled, “It Takes Two.”  If a marriage is going to be all that God desires it to be, then it must take two committed people.  Here are the lessons inspired by the story of David and Bathsheba:

• It takes two to start poorly
• It take two for forgiveness to work
• It takes two to start over
• It takes two to make a marriage successful

But what is a successful marriage?  Is it one where there is never a disagreement?  Is it one where all the kids turn out “normal” (whatever normal is???)?  Is it one where each spouse has every need or desire met?

Of course these are skewed and selfish views of success.  I like what is defined in the preface of  “The Love Dare,” a 40-day devotional featured in last year’s movie, “Fireproof:”

[God designed marriage] to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy.  But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner.  If we are teachable, we will learn to do one thing that is most important in marriage–to love.

Success in marriage is learning to love.  It is NOT the absence of differing opinions, mistrust, or dysfunction.  Rather, it is loving IN SPITE of all that imperfection.  That is the unconditional love modeled in Jesus’ love for us, and that is what our marriages should demonstrate to our spouses, and others.  If you need help (just like me) in this area take a look at the resources at www.thelovedarebook.com.

A few weeks ago I noticed a magazine headline about Jon and Kate Gosselin of the TV show, “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”  It said something about a break-up, but I didn’t believe it because it was just some tabloid.  Then the next week when I was in the library, I saw the same thing on the cover of a more reliable magazine.  I read their article on Kate, and found out that their relationship was indeed on the rocks.

I never felt like it was one of my favorite things to watch, but my wife and I often watched the show.  I guess I didn’t realize the power of reality tv until now, because I was really hurt, and a little mad to hear that their marriage could be headed for a divorce.

If you watched them at all you know their pressure points:  Twins and Sextuplets, Kate is controlling, Jon is irresponsible, and on top of all that, they’ve made it their family’s job to live on camera for the world to watch.  So it’s not surprising how this relationship could be in trouble.

The message series that starts this week will deal with relationships from the Bible.  All of them had pressure points like interfering in-laws, blended families, being widowed and loving again, and infidelity and re-marriage.  And on top of all that, all of us have weak areas like being controlling or irresponsibility.

Every relationship has challenges.  And your relationships matter, not just for your own sake, but also because others are watching.  You may not have cameras going 24/7 in your house, but your kids, your neighbors, your friends at work and church are watching.  Jon and Kate are just sobering up to this reality.

See you this Sunday for the beginning of “Summer Love” and we’ll talk about how to start out on the right foot in relationships…dating and finding the right person for the right reasons.